Emily and Phil were married at Upcote Barn in September 25, enveloped in a truly magical cloud of love and affection by their family and friends. It was exactly the atmosphere they deserved; romantic, gentle, very subtly funny. But most of all, it was a wedding ceremony I will always remember as being created word for word around how they feel about the impact they’ve had on each other’s lives – past, present and future. There was nothing included that wasn’t entirely crafted for them, or by them.
As quiet folks who would rather be nestled at home reading or crafting than on show in public, this ceremony needed to be low-fi on the fuss, but feel like a place where they could express themselves confidently. There were so many details included that define how this manifested, but I’d only like to share two. Firstly, the dried florals, in bright pastels not only gave wonderful natural texture, but Emily’s bouquet contained a secret – some dried blooms she’d kept from the bunch of flowers Phil bought her on their very first date. When Emily shared her intention to include them when we first met, I knew that memories, nostalgia and physical objects holding emotional depth were a big part of their love story. As guests entered the ceremony barn, they encountered a basket of carefully ironed vintage handkerchiefs, which Emily had collected from local charity shops. These were favours, and much, much needed. There were so many happy tears at their wedding ceremony. When I heard about these, I knew that I was creating a ceremony for two people who put the comfort of others’ way, way before their own.
You will rarely meet a more enchantingly sweet pair than Phil and Emily. We sat together for a few hours at our initial meeting, and they took me through two scrapbooks, made as gifts for each other on their first date anniversary. The catch? Neither knew the other was making one, too. The detail, the dual perspectives on the same events in their lives, the saved tickets and receipts and flyers and photos. It was glorious and such an emotional afternoon. I wanted to find a way of recreating that page-turning immersion into their story as their ceremony.
And, I think I did it. Their story wasn’t told in a linear fashion, but introduced aspects of them to their friends and family from their perspective, as well as a contributed section from close friends and relatives that showed them how loved they are as a pair, also. We had some wonderful readers who brought laughter and a real sense of closeness to the ceremony, especially when one of the passages was a children’s book that had reduced Phil to tears in a bookshop accidentally.
“Eleanor has been absolutely fantastic, and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to have been our celebrant on the most wonderful day of our lives!
Emily & Phil
From the get go, Eleanor has been responsive, thoughtful, helpful and SO full of enthusiasm. She made us feel really special, and we were so completely sure that the ceremony she would write would reflect us perfectly. She took the time to get to know us, and our stories, and turned all those snippets into the most perfect ceremony we could have asked for.
Everyone at our wedding commented on the ceremony and how well it reflected us as a couple.
I would reccomend Eleanor to anyone – she is a very special person!”
This wedding ceremony was about love, trust, shared delight in the creation and existence of crafts and words, thoughts and feelings. It could only ever have been followed by a delicate, joyful afternoon tea for us all. We sat, nestled together in the hall, getting to know each other across all the chapters of Emily and Phil’s lives, and it was so great to hear even more about how and why they are so cherished as people. If you really want to understand a couple, watching their best friends react to their marriage is a great way to do it. The range of feelings I saw from Emily’s bridesmaids, which ran from literal skipping with excitement to clutching one another and sobbing with heart-wrenching joy, was so beautiful.
I floated back to the car and drove home knowing I’d been part of something really special. Marrying people who truly deserve the adoration they receive is one of the most life-affirming experiences possible. The elegance of their tenderness with one another was pervasive.
Photographs courtesy of Emily and Phil and taken by Albert (Bert) Palmer.
