You are engaged to an introvert, but you are an extrovert? You want joy and noise and are up for the focus being all about you, but they…. aren’t? Maybe it’s causing a few wedding ceremony planning niggles. Here’s a quick guide to introvert vs extrovert wedding planning, compromising with your partner and still getting a beautiful wedding ceremony. Let’s dive into introvert vs extrovert wedding ceremony planning.
We’re not necessarily here to celebrate your differences and point them out to be judged. Your wedding ceremony will honour the perfection of your partnership. You’re starting from a point of wanting desperately to make each other happy with your wedding day, and this can cause a lot of anxiety.
As you enter the journey of wedding ceremony planning, remember this: you fell in love with every part of this person, and your differences make up a portion of that. You balance each other out, I’m sure, in every way. One soothes, the other motivates, perhaps. One is practical, one is creative. You never meet in the middle, you’re always there to hold each other’s hands and guide one another, whether it be 70/30 sometimes, or 90/10, toward the solution. It’s the same with social battery – I bet you power one another up too, when you need it the most. So it should be with wedding ceremony structure.
start with what you don’t want
I promise, this will make sense. Both of you, write down the three things you don’t want in your wedding ceremony, and then write down the three things you don’t want to feel. We’ll start from there. Here’s a couple of examples of how it could work:
You don’t want any readings. He doesn’t want his Mum to feel left out, so he wants her to do a reading. So let’s compromise. I’ll speak to his Mum, maybe along with other friends and relatives, and get her take on him, and your love story, and make her voice part of the ceremony.
She wants to feel calm. You want to feel excited and connected to everybody. So let’s compromise. We’ll have you sitting down for your ceremony, facing your guests, but close to each other. She has the comfort of holding your hand and staying still and quietly taking it all in. You can vibe with your guests, catch some eyes, laugh along with them, but be there physically and emotionally for her.
Be who you are in your wedding ceremony
Nobody, least of all you, will be fooled by an entire personality change locking eyes with them down the aisle. You want to marry a relaxed, smiling person, and they desperately want to be in that zone too. Always ask ‘why?’. For example ‘Let’s just get it over with’. But why? Maybe it’s the idea of being stood in front of people for too long. Maybe it’s the idea of being hot in an unfamiliar outfit. Maybe it’s the idea of speaking out loud. Take this as an opportunity to understand your partner’s worries and. react to them by working with me to suggest solutions. There are no rules. There’s no obligation to stand, to enter the room with everybody watching, or to speak during your ceremony.
stick with your normal tone of voice
In your vows, don’t say things that don’t sound like you. Don’t make promises you are unlikely to keep. Stick with things that, when you write them, sound like something you would say out loud. if you’re an introvert and she is an extrovert, it doesn’t matter. Her vows will sound like her, yours will sound like you. And that’s all your partner wants to hear; your real voice.
resist the temptation to make it a focus
If you are the extrovert reading this, there’s no need to tell me upfront, or anybody else, that your partner isn’t like you. I’ll work it out straight away, that’s part of the deep journey of getting to know you. There’s no shame in being an introvert, and nobody will be mocked or made to feel othered by it at one of my ceremonies. I also would never make suggestions of how to ‘bring them out of it’ a bit or ‘try to get over it’. Your wedding ceremony is not a performance or a thing to be masked through. I want you to feel completely seen and understood at every part of the process.
If you are the introvert reading this, your feelings are safe with me. Your ceremony is safe with me.
Like the sound of a gentle wedding ceremony planning journey where you are understood? Please get in touch to book a consultation.
Photography: Lucy Lloyd Jones, Location: Walton Castle Shoot & style concept by: Wild Cherry Content
