I expect, if you’ve been to a wedding which includes a bride, you’ll have heard the line, ‘please stand for the arrival of the bride’. The music starts, everybody gets to their feet, the excitement builds. It’s how weddings have to start, right?
But, as a wedding celebrant who has planned a lot of wedding ceremonies, I don’t think it is how they should start. I think your guests should stay sitting down whilst you walk down the aisle. It’s always the couples’ choice, of course, not mine, but I have reasons for suggesting your friends & family stay seated.
the connection of being seen
This is your moment. Yours. When you’re walking towards your partner, you should feel like the only people in the room, locking eyes as everything starts. Being the only ones on the same height level and eye line means that you truly see each other. You catch first sight of each other without distraction. If your guests are seated, nothing or nobody else is in your line of vision.
YOUR PHOTOS WILL THANK YOU FOR IT
If you are thinking about how your photo memories of the day will look, seeing you, head and shoulders above everybody else on the aisle, becomes more important. The dynamic of everybody else being seated makes you stand out more. The motion of everybody else looking up, or round, at you, highlights you, your look, and your face Your photos may also be less crowded, as the moment of your first look doesn’t include so many other faces. Much as you love those other faces, that aisle moment should maybe be about you!
GIVE YOUR VENUE ITS MOMENT IN YOUR MEMORY
Many couples see their venue for the first time when it’s not dressed for a wedding and fall in love with it for the feeling it gives by just existing. When you walk in for the first time, wouldn’t it be good if what you are feeling matches that first look you had back then? With guests seated, you can grab more of that atmosphere
In the photos where guests are seated and you are centre stage, your venue also gets showcased back to you, as does how it made you feel.
TO HONOUR & INCLUDE EVERYBODY YOU LOVE
“please stand for the arrival” apparently has its roots in Western Christian tradition. This isn’t a negative – all traditions have roots. But it doesn’t NEED to be your tradition too, especially if you are not a traditionally minded pair. Standing up isn’t the only way to show respect.
It doesn’t take into account that guests may not be able to stand without discomfort. If you have grandparents, elderly or low mobility guests, standing up can be stressful and create worry for people that find it hard. If you have guests in their finest clothes, and it’s hot, or windy, it’s also sometimes, frankly a bit of a faff. And if you have lots of kids at your wedding, it’s also a pain to get them to do things on time and quietly in a way that doesn’t disrupt your vibe.
Sitting is more equitable & it also gives your walking companion an absolutely sensational centre stage!
Pictures courtesy of Alan Law, Sian Hall and Just James wedding photography. Header image by Bright Sight photography.
start your wedding ceremony planning
When we’re planning your ceremony together, we plan every moment, which is why this topic is important to me. I want you to feel amazing from the moment you step into that room. If you’d like to talk more, why not get in touch and let’s start planning your celebrant wedding ceremony.
