Do we have to choose? Can we not just have a celebrant and a registrar at our wedding?
I’m thrilled that you’re reading this, because it means you are considering having a celebrant wedding ceremony. However, you’ve also probably researched the facts and uncovered the annoying truth, that celebrant weddings in England and Wales are not legally binding. If you want to be legally wed, you need a government civil servant’s help – the Registrar.
This piece looks at the following questions –
- Can we have a celebrant and a registrar come to our venue?
- Why would we have a statutory ceremony at the registrar and then a celebrant ceremony?
- What are the limitations of just having a registrar?
Can we have a celebrant and a registrar?
A question I get asked a lot is, can we have both celebrant and registrar do our wedding on the day? Yes, you can. But, it’s the least budget-friendly option. I charge the same for my ceremonies wherever you marry. Registrars don’t – they charge more to come to you than they do if you go to them.
In November 2024, one of my couples had their ceremony with me at 2pm, and whilst guests drank cocktails, they had their legal signing at 3.30pm. This year, two of my couples will do the same at other Somerset wedding venues. You just need at least 30 minutes, if not more, between the two ceremonies.
How much does the legal part of a wedding ceremony cost?
That is entirely down to the importance you place on it, and the time and location you want it to have.
Somerset Registry Office costs for example:
- Marriage at a licensed, approved premises (aka probably your venue) Mon-Sat- £645
- Marriage in one of their Council Office chamber rooms – between £325-550
- And then, there’s the real bargain – the ‘basic’ Statutory Ceremony. £68.50. You both, two witnesses, ten minutes.
This is what 95% of my 2024 and 2025 couples chose.
Why would we choose a statutory ceremony?
You’d choose a statutory ceremony if you view the legal paperwork as a necessary, but not the most central part of your wedding celebration. This then opens the gates for the immense fun that a celebrant ceremony will give you.
The statutory ceremony is ten minutes long and usually done in a pleasant room. You take your ID and your witnesses, sign the register, and leave legally married, ready for your actual wedding day. Previous couples have:
- Worn jeans and gone back to work straight after
- Asked their grandparents to be witnesses
- Worn white and had cocktails with friends in the afternoon
- Had the registry on the Friday of their three-day weekend wedding
I still don’t get it, why would we bother having a celebrant and a registrar?
The best explanation I can give you is this; think about the other ‘registering’ you have to do throughout your life and which category of moments it sits in – the administrative category.
When a baby is born, a parent or guardian has to go to the Registry Office with ID and sign some forms so that the baby is a legally registered human. The Registrar does not come to the party, naming ceremony or Christening, or wet the baby’s head in the pub with your friends, or even attend the baby shower.
When a person dies, somebody has to arrange for their death to be registered at the council offices, to begin the legal process of probate and funeral. The Registrar doesn’t perform the funeral, ever, or attend the celebration of life.
In ALL three cases, the person you deal with at these crucial life stages will be a stranger who doesn’t know you. You never get to choose your Registrar. This means, even if you choose to have them at your venue to perform a ceremony with rings and vows, theirs will be a face and a voice you don’t recognise, both on the day, and in your photos.
This is not their fault, it doesn’t make a Registrar the wrong choice, and it doesn’t make them bad at their jobs, they are great, and love being part of your wedding day. But, they can’t deviate from their script and allow very little of your own personalities into the ceremony. Nothing religious either, which a celebrant can do for you.
Their job is to marry you legally and employ checks and balances that ensure neither of you is breaking the law, or being coerced into it. They are very, very busy, and are tied by the bureaucracy of local government at every turn, including the budgets.
Why your first choice of venue or date might not happen with a Registrar.
Because they are so busy. There’s so few of them. There’s so many weddings. Sometimes, Registrars are so fully booked that if you are only looking at having a Registrar, it will inform the date of your wedding and whether your venue is available when the Registrar is, not when you are.
This is why a venue will ask probably just after ‘what date are you looking at?’, ‘have you booked your Registrar?’. This is infuriating. For a start, it’s duping you into thinking you can’t have your date if you haven’t got a Registrar, and secondly, it’s making it sound like you have to have one. Neither is true. A venue that asks ‘how are you planning to get married?’ instead, is a special place indeed. Book them immediately. And then call me.
Is a celebrant right for us?
You can read any of my other posts on what we’re capable of, or why a personalised ceremony might be lovely. But, if you’re a couple that is proud of your love story, wants to tell it in your own way, and wants some control over the content of your wedding ceremony, as well as where and when it is, then yes, we’re worth considering. You can contact me here.
